the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
