apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
