Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
