If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
