I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
