Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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