Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
