John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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