He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
