Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
