Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
