Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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