Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
