I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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