And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
