what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
try to milk me bitch
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
