My liver just broke up with me...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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