She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
