Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
