We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
