she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize