your room smells of hookers.
And success
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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