all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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