I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
