Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
