After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize