I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
