Sry I called you an 8
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
