How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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