Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
