Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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