Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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