u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize