bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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