summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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