Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I love you. Go after that dick
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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