They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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