real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
