Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
