whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
