do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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