He is an equal opportunity slut.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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