Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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