If i come over, it means nothing
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
