He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize