Heybabeimwearingurpanties
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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