I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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