don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
