She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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