Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
