I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
