Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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