This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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