I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm really into asian looking animals
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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