i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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