guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
