worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
