I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am one with the molecules
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize