Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
