Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
In America we eat man semen.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
