When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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