R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So squirting runs in the family.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They have beer where we have blood.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
