I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
These tits shall not be calmed
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