can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
