there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
