so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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